A new fairy tale of reality

Castles, crowns, pretty dresses, Beads and everything Princessy fascinates little girls and my PP isn’t an exception. First toy that she was fascinated and attracted to was a colorful ball and that gave me sense of relief that she would grow up into one tough girl but as she turned one there was transition from balls to barbies. She’s created her own fairyland and believes the life of princess is perfect because in every story though they have struggles and pain initially but  it always ends with “and they lived happily ever after “.  Fact is all stories are cut short and we never got glimpse of their life after marrying prince of their dreams. 

I realized even as grownups we don’t stop dreaming about living that fairy tale and our life becomes a quest to protect ourselves from wicked witch or jealous step mother.Though in real life there are no ugly witches or step mothers to create obstacles but the vamps come in our life in form of people streaked with envy, revenge, anger, greed or ego.To run away from that we end up in house of hurt, worry, doubt and discouragement, dreaming about that prince charming to help us free from this misery. Real  life is different from fantasy and  nothing can warranty life time of happiness.

We keep chasing for perfect life in the form of having perfect job; staying in perfect house with perfect life partner and  kids with perfect lifestyle to match with. Life isn’t all happy even after that and there still are sad tearful days and we embark on another quest. In reality there’s no such thing as perfect life but its lot chaotic because of  our own emotions and expectations.  All we need to do is find comfort and peace in our imperfect life and rewrite our own fairy tale

Would you like to share your fairy tale with me ? 

Self Discovery

I had always been a loner and happily occupied in my little world. My professional life, being a wife and mother to little bundle of energy kept me busy to an extent that I never gave a thought to who I am. Moving to a new environment gave me much desired time to spend alone and discover myself. The path to self exploration has been daunting and painful but well worth every minute I have spent in understanding self.

The Journey

In this journey I started exploring different and new things which was like reliving my childhood again, where I had new ambition every day.My tryst with colors, food, camera, designs, fashion, books, poetry and craft continued for many months. This gave me opportunity to become comfortable with whatever I do and identify what I strongly desire . I have been fortunate enough to meet interesting people and have found new friends who have been my constant support. I accepted myself for who I am and less critical and judgmental of my strengths and capabilities. I have been writing my thoughts, fears, passions and moments .Reading them today gives me a better understanding of myself. 

The outcome or New beginning….
It made me self aware and more confident and comfortable in my own skin. Today rather than spending my time worrying about the superfluous events and people I can focus more on my happiness and dreams. It was difficult to get past my own guilt and regrets but today looking back I realize everything that has happened in the past was for a reason and that has made me more mature, strong and reasonable. I am getting past my fears and not hesitant to do things which I have always wanted to without worrying about consequence. Its been hard for me to accept rejection in anything I do but today consequences of my actions don’t intimidate me as I know failure is another lesson learnt and success is going to strengthen my belief in myself.

Today I am more determined and stronger person than I was year back.

I would love to hear from you what you worked for you in your quest of finding self.

Break free from Depression

Few months back we moved to a new country with lots of excitement, hope and anticipation. Thrill of discovering a new life was relentless.  Within month of moving excitement faded away. Waking up every morning to realize there is no work to attend and day would begin and end confined in these four walls , I started feeling worthless and depressed. My state of mind was affecting my family and though they were there to provide support but I knew only one person can pull me out of this depression and that was me myself.

I soon realized its all state of mind and that I can utilize this ample time at my disposal to enrich my life. I made few choices which pulled me out of depression. I don’t say that I have reached a state of nirvana where nothing bothers me now but bouts of feeling blue are few and far and I know how to alter that state quickly.

    Practice meditation:  I have been a restless person but I found inner peace by practicing meditation. You can start meditating simply by focusing on your breath or any mantra. Do it for 10-15 minutes, you might not be able to enjoy or concentrate in your first attempt but I am sure it would reduce your stress and clear your mind of any negativity.

     Pick up a hobby:  We have been busy in grind of work, family and kids but now is the time to bake those scrumptious cakes, pick up those paints and color your world, write those poems which are locked in your heart, dance to your hearts tune, read those books which have been calling you on your every visit to bookstore and Library or capture the moments and new surroundings in your photographs which you can cherish forever. Possibilities are endless just follow your heart.

     Travel to new places: People pay to travel to explore International locations so utilize this time to explore the country over holidays, weekends, and evenings. Nothing can be more fun than having a good fun filled vacation with your loved ones.

     Join Volunteer work: There are ample opportunities of volunteer work in community institutions like YMCA, Local library or find out options for volunteer work in your child’s school and I am sure it would be double delight for you and them.

     Live More, Laugh More: These are one of those rare precious times when there’s no pressure of meeting deadlines or reporting to overbearing boss. Enjoy these sweet moments of life to fullest by giving your unconditional love, support and companionship to your spouse to further strengthen your relationship.

     Go back to college: If you are the academic kinds you can go back to college and pursue further education and for not so academic kinds like me do not worry there are lots of hobby courses to choose from.

     Make new friends: Sounds cliché but it stands true having someone to talk to makes the whole lot of difference. Learn about their culture, exchange stories while bonding over some exotic food and it is sure to bring some lively flavors in your life which would stay with you forever.

Liberate yourself from all mental inhibitions and negativity.Take charge of your life and utilize this time to explore a new you. Fly High.

Life comes full circle

It's hard to make my 6 year old pretty princess (PP) sit and study Mathematics. Today after lot of cajoling I convinced her to practice some maths problems. It was sheer joy to see her so engrossed doing all the problems right and my heart swelled with pride.
                                                                   
                                                Me : See how much fun it is to practice Maths.
PP: Its fun for you, not for me.
Me :How its for me ?
PP:  Because you are sitting with me doing nothing where I am doing all the hard work.
Me: ......ummmm but I am here for any help you need.
PP:  Tell me when you were my age did you enjoy doing Mathematics ?
Me:  (I chuckled and sheepishly said ) Well ! not as much and that's the reason I want you to practice it so that you start loving it .
I always detested maths and till date numbers scare me. Life comes full circle and Karma strikes.
Plan to call my mom and ask what more is coming around to bite me  :-)

Rush of Hormones

After one box of chocolate, chocolate milkshake, licking fingers clean of Nutella I still feel miserable. My hormones have been driving me crazy for last couple of days and I have been oscillating between highs of ecstasy and lows of crankiness.
Next mood swing.....................about to arrive.
Pardon my Sobbing.
Sigh !

Lonely Heart

Amidst all the mushy updates of couples displaying their pictures, gifts and expressing their never ending love for each other on Valentines day I happened to see an update stating maximum suicides happen on Valentines Day. No one ever said Love is easy but is it so tough that you would cease to exist? Unrequited relationships are tough to deal without a doubt.

That special someone- The reason of your smile and happiness; one who could magically vanish every little disappointment just by listening to you and being around one day disappears. Like all good things this doesn't last forever and it comes to an end for reasons unknown.

You are in state of denial and give every justification to defend by telling your mind and heart it’s just a busy phase. Time goes by and you realize this deafening silence is here to stay. What do you do? Your heart is still captive and you can’t breathe. You try to Call, text, look for tweets, visit the social networking profile but it aggravates the pain to realize that it’s only you who is being disconnected whereas rest of the world is still very much in contact.

When you have done every possible thing to save that nonexistent relationship it's time to recognize the reality and dynamics behind that relationship. Most of the time the rational self analysis would make you realize you were charmed and hooked by delusional realities  shown at the beginning. The real relationships are never severed this way. 

Its not worth getting consumed and burnt any further so stop chasing or hanging on to every word that was said to just play you. Delete every memory that reminds you of that game you were dragged into to make you feel unwanted in the end. It’s going to hurt but with passage of time you would heal and feel much better and stronger. Its sad that you had to go through this unnecessary schooling but its never worthwhile to end precious life for a person who could never be sincere or upfront with you.

"Just When you think it can't get any worse,it can and just when you think it can't get any better, it can" - Nicholas Sparks

Am I too late ?

World has been blogging since forever now. Everyone from school kids to celebrities have a blog so why not me ?
I am an introvert person and never been very vocal or expressive about my feelings and this sure is a big step, to share my life with the world.
Wish me luck :-)